I don't know about other woman and girls out there in the world but for me personally I have tummy obsession.
Suck it in,
Smooth it out,
What exercises will get rid of this fat?
I look great from the front but can they see my belly from the side?
These questions and thoughts go through my head everyday. Every single day! I am so careful how I dress and always dress to hide that most disturbing part of me. I occasionally crave to wear a nice pair of jeans but never have found any that hide it enough for me to buy them. I stay away from 2 piece bathing suits still..I do love my nice tummy hiding one piece though. My tummy is truly the thing I like least about myself. I got that fat from being pregnant and eating all wrong during and after. I had a C section and that made recovery after birth hard. I am a total wimp and I did not bounce back well.
But before all this happened when I was a teenager and I was a slim size 3 I never once thought about my stomach. I never poked it and thought how gross it was or had to dress around that one part of me. I was just me and I never even considered my body just being young and having fun. I miss those times when my body image wasn't even a thought in my head.
Before internet and selfies.
Before confidence was something I had to gain and work for back when it was something I just had naturally without thought or effort.
have a photo-shoot coming , the first of the year and I am struggling right now to grasp at my confidence and gather enough to make beautiful photos and to feel more confident from having done it but I am scared to death that recent events in my life have truly robbed me of all my self worth and confidence.
I am struggling but I am not giving up! I will continue to fight to feel happy in my skin and to share with others in hopes my struggles will help them and my successes will encourage them to succeed and to love themselves even through horrible times.
I realize this has kind of ended up a random collection of thoughts instead of the one thought it began with. I feel I learn from sharing and re reading my own writing about my problems. this gives me a fresh perspective and an easy view of how to begin choosing happiness once again!
Waiting for my rainbow.
