Everybody has them! those days when you just don't want to not be in your skin anymore. When your body suddenly becomes a hated enemy that is only working against you. Sometimes "BAD " is just not enough to describe these days!
I have had a few ,terrible,awful evil bad bad days, recently and I was getting more and more down on myself about being fat.I had been eating healthy and working out more and was starting to see results and then fell back into my bad habit of loving food a little too much! I felt like I was failing and instead of pushing myself harder I took the easy way out and gave up.I moped about it and stewed over it for 3 days and made myself hate my body and myself for not being strong enough to fight through cravings and follow through with my eating plans.
Then last night at my best friends house her soon to be daughter in law Miranda came in to the house and told me I looked like I had lost weight. This was something I really needed to hear from someone who wouldn't just say that ! I began to feel a bit better about my body and when I went home and looked in the mirror I saw what she saw!
Today I was getting ready for my photo shoot and I was angry because my hair wouldn't work and I was certain somehow these pictures would end up awful because how I have been feeling about myself would be obvious. But after fighting with my hair until it was decent and arriving to get my makeup done I slowly started to go back into what I like to call "sexy Linda mode". I remembered what Miranda said and I felt confident although not as confident as my usual self I have to admit.
My husband came in to lace my corsets up during the shoot and I was shocked to find my corsets had to be tightened till they were fully closed! I always have about a 2 inch gap.! I was so happy to have all these little things to remind me that I didn't fail and I can continue even if I have a few bad days.
I don't want to eat healthy and work out to get skinny! I just want to be healthy. It is a constant struggle for me because of my thyroid problems. After being diagnosed with graves disease and then having RAI (radioactive iodine) to kill of my thyroid I now take thyroid replacement pills for the rest of my life. That wouldn't be the most horrible thing except even after 10 years my meds never keep me in a good range for more then a few months before I am thrown to either way to high or way to low. It is a roller-coaster I wish I could get off of and makes my emotions ridiculous!
I learned today though that bad days eventually turn into good days and that it is fine to have bad days! I didn't fail at anything because I hated myself for a few days I just learned how to come back to feeling confident and proud of my body. Boudoir shoots work every time for me. So try not to beat yourself up over bad days just hold on till the good ones and come back even stronger for it!
Linda xoxoxoxo
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